Listen Now:

Selling to your ideal client isn’t just about putting an offer in front of them and hoping they’ll “bite.” It’s about creating a real, lasting connection that travels beyond the buy button and into a real relationship that will lead to higher revenue, better conversion rates, and a more successful business.

Jennifer Tamborski breaks down exactly what you need to know and DO to create that connection in an authentic, real way – so you’re not just selling a product, you’re creating solutions to problems that your perfect customer has.

Want to drive more sales calls so you can test out your newfound sales skills? Check out Jennifer's Business in a Box Funnel Page Templates!

Visit Jennifer's Website

Find Jennifer on Facebook
Follow Jennifer on Instagram
Connect with Jennifer on LinkedIn

Alyson Lex
When you have that connection with someone, and I'm talking to human to human connection, that you've probably heard Jenny and I talked about before, because that's what's essential, if you want to really sell to someone is to connect with them like a human. But when you have that connection with someone, there are two ways that it happens. One, a happy magical accident, or two, an intentional experience designed by the person with whom you have that connection. Technically, there's probably a third way, that's a good mix of the two. And that's probably the most popular. But we're going to be talking about that second type, the intentional design of connection with your ideal client. And that's why we've asked Jennifer Tim borsky, to be here with us today, because this is her thing. So Jennifer, thank you so much for being here with us.

Jennifer Tamborski
Thank you for having me. I love this topic.

Alyson Lex
I am so excited to learn about it from you. And the first thing that I want to just kind of get your input on because I have an idea. But why do we want to increase that connection?

Jennifer Tamborski
Well, the reality of things right when you are trying to create a business, especially online, right, because in this world that we have right now, it's almost all online. It is incredibly important to create a connection with your in with your ideal client, your ideal client is going to purchase from you based on the know like and trust that you build with them. We all know that as business owners that know like and trust is the way to bring your clients in the door. And creating that connection helps to establish the know like and trust. And to kind of when you do it intentionally kind of makes that done on steroids. It just takes that to that next level, where they're not only interested in what you have to say, but they become raving fans of you. And then they're dragging all their friends into your stratosphere.

Jennie Wright
That sounds awesome. Because then it's actually making a deeper connection. And if anybody knows me, I like to create a much deeper connection with people. So once there are raving fans, are we done? making the connection with them is that it like, you're now like super status fan.

Jennifer Tamborski
We're never done making connections with our ideal client. I like to correlate it to dating, I like to correlate marketing to dating. And when you think about the dating process and building a relationship, even when you're married, you are never done building that relationship. That's how a lot of relationships fail in the real world is when people are done. Creating that connection and establishing and really building a relationship. The same goes with your business, there comes a point after the sale where you still want to make that connection with them on a regular basis so that they continue to buy from you. Because those are the people that come back every time, right? You put something I know I have people that I follow. Every time they put something out there. I'm like, I don't really need that, but I'm gonna buy it anyway. Right? I buy it anyway because I have that connection with them. And that's what you want to establish with your ideal clients.

Alyson Lex
I think too, it's not even always just about getting them to buy from you again. But it's also about providing them the experience that they like, have you ever bought something and I totally have bought something and then that facade drops and you feel like a sucker

Jennifer Tamborski
huh? Yes, absolutely. That customer experience is so important with your clients and you're right it is not just about having them buy from you again although with a lot of people that's where their mind goes right how much selling money in their business. It also becomes that piece of you're providing them with so much value and so much connection that they just want to stay there you know, I've I've gotten purpose from a client well she's I'm her client, but I purchased from her she actually outgrew her program, like I i've outgrown her program, but I stay because of the connection and the value and and that's really what you want is those people that want to stay in your program and continue to help you rise right because I love her program so much. I want everybody to know

Alyson Lex
Yeah, and it's as someone who I have a few people in my world that, like, I put something out there signing up, they're buying what have you. It does help you. It's it's nice to have that friendly face. Right? You get to know them, you get to know them as a person, which I think is really important. And so clearly, I'm sold on this concept. What do I need to do to begin intentionally doing this connection thing?

Jennifer Tamborski
The first thing and I'm sure you guys, I know, you've talked about this in other podcasts is really understanding your client, right? understanding who they are, what they need. But here's something that people kind of tend to forget, understanding how they need to receive the information. Because everybody receives information in different ways, right? We have auditory learners, visual learners, some people need that video connection. And those people that need to read. So really understanding your ideal client and how they need to, to receive that information will immensely help them being able to consume it.

Alyson Lex
Does the relationship have anything to do? Right? So being friendly, getting to know them, kind of beyond just their avatar, or their learning style, right? Is there a relationship component,

Jennifer Tamborski
there's always a relationship component when it comes to building your business, that's why I put the whole process through a dating funnel kind of idea is because building the relationship back and forth. Now, when you become when your business gets to a point where you can't know every person in your group, right? There are those businesses out there that are very large, and they can't necessarily know every person. However, what they cannot know is what that what the majority of the people that come to them, how they're feeling, what they're struggling with, where we're in their process, do people get stuck? And then starting to kind of look at that, in figuring out how to move them through that stuck. So what's the process for that, though?

Jennie Wright
So you just mentioned there's a process and I'm dying to know, or I would like to know what the process is the granular approach?

Jennifer Tamborski
Yeah, so I so the process I take my clients through is what I call dating your ideal clients. So we start with obviously an introduction. And in that introduction, we start with like strategy, really understanding your ideal clients really diving into their fears, and their their pain points, and all of that kind of stuff, and then diving into the how they receive information so that you're able to then deliver that to them, then we go to what I like to call the flirting phase. So stage two is really about giving them that information, providing them valuable content, so that they can start to create that connection with you, before they're ready to step into what I call dating, which is where a lot of business owners, I know start, they start with, give me your email address, right, they missed the flirting phase and start right with that email address. And while it does work, for some it, it kind of when you start with just the Give me your email address, it kind of negates that relationship, right, it becomes more of a transaction than building a relationship. And then we move on to the commitment phase, which is where they purchase where they give you money, right. And then the last phase is what I like to call keeping the romance alive, which is that whole back end customer journey, making sure that they are getting, getting the information that they need. And so that's the process that I take my clients through and I love to really help them understand that building a relationship with your clients in a real authentic way is just as important as getting money in your pocket. And if you do it the best way possible, you'll always have money in your pocket. That would be the hope

Jennie Wright
so one of the things that you talk about is NLP right? So yeah, I've heard about NLP many many times over the years. It's gotten a bit of a bad rap from time to time so people might hear this and they go NLP isn't that gross and manipulative? Can you break down what NLP is? Can you tell us how it can be used authentically? We all know that there's there's always the bad apples that take the nice thing and make it terrible for everybody. But can you just give us like a sense of what that is and how to use it with our Superwoman capes on please.

Jennifer Tamborski
Lovely so NLP is neuro linguistics program. Aiming, it's really a process of understanding your map of the world and someone else's map of the world. And by understanding their map of the world, you can speak into that so that they can hear you. So it's something it's about breaking down those barriers, so people can really understand and hear what you're saying. And you're right, it's gotten a really bad rap. Because of those bad apples, I correlated a lot to a hammer, you can use a hammer for a lot of damage, or you can build a house with it. The choice is yours on how you use a tool. And with NLP with neuro linguistic programming, you're really able to use language, because that is, its understanding that language affects everything we do in our lives. And our subconscious rules our entire world. That's something that a lot of people tend to miss. And, and really don't understand that. And I always like to give this example. So you're driving from point A to point z, and you forgot how you got there, you don't remember the entire drive. That's because your subconscious knew exactly where you're going in took you there, it didn't need your conscious involvement in it. That's the way most of our license run about 90% of it. So when we're able to speak to someone on an unconscious level, we're able to kind of break down that conscious barrier. And they're able to hear what we really mean, what we really want them to hear and what they need to hear. So absolutely, if you can, can be used negatively, but if it's used by the right people, it can really help both the person you're helping as well as your own business.

Alyson Lex
So how do we do that?

Jennifer Tamborski
A lot. So one of the first things when I talked about earlier how people learn, right? Understanding how people learn that there are people that are auditory. So using words like sounds, Does that sound good? Because you hear me? There are people that are kinesthetic, so the feeling words, how does that feel to you? You know, can you can you feel that? Can you touch you know, those kind of those kind of things. There are people that are auditory digital, which means they spend a lot of time in their head. So use words like understand, and you know, makes sense. And then you have people who are more visual. So how does that look to you. And you see that. So when you're writing your marketing copy, you want to make sure that obviously, I'm going to preface this with saying it doesn't all go in one sentence. But you want to make sure that you're hitting those points in your marketing copies so that you know you can, so someone can see the vision of the end product, someone else can feel how they're going to feel when they've gone through your process. Someone else, it's the sound of the chain in the bank, or you know, someone else, it these are very clear steps that you're taking, right and under making sure that your ideal client that you're hitting all of those points really does help them to move through the process.

Jennie Wright
I think what you're saying is, is good, and I think what we need to pull out of this, so people understand it a little bit better, at least, I know, I needed this when people were first starting to talk to me about NLP and sales and communication styles is I think we need to create some examples. So I want to look at examples on how we can use this in a sales call or something. So as an example, for me, when I'm doing a sales call with somebody, and this may be NLP esque or not, is I do ask permission a lot. I get in there and I'll talk to people and I'll say look, you know what, I'd like to share a solution with you if that makes sense. Is that okay? So I am trying to connect with them on an emotion like a deeper level. And I believe and correct me if I'm wrong, that with NLP you are trying to find out how the person connects and how the person needs to be either spoken to or talked to or related to and connect with that person in that particular way. Would I be correct in sort of saying that is definitely

Jennifer Tamborski
part of it, you know, making on a sales call. It's learning it's also learning about how that person is speaking to you. So the example you use is I'd like to show you a solution. That makes sense, right, that's using an auditory digital verbiage. If the person that you're talking to has, and you've asked them, you know, what are your goals? And they're like, I see, I, you know, I feel like, if they're using those terms, using words like, does that make sense isn't going to connect with them, but offering them something more like, you know, have, I'd love to offer you, you know, some more information about the solution? Would you like to look at that, then the person who is a visual learner absolutely hears that. So that's kind of when you're, when you are using this type of language and understanding in your sales calls, it's really about listening to what they're saying. And then being able to speak back to them in that same language.

Alyson Lex
I really like that, because it does, it's that active listening part that I know is really important in sales, you know, I got to bring it back to the copy because when we write copy, we don't have that real time feedback. So how do we do it there.

Jennifer Tamborski
So that's where you use it in multiple points, like one paragraph may be all about the visual, it may be telling giving them the full visual of what their life is going to look like. one paragraph may be all about how it's going to sound to them. One may be all about how it's going to feel to them, and one may be all about the thinker. And you know, what makes sense to them. And like I said, a little bit ago, you don't want to do this all in one sentence. You can, I mean, there's way to write it out in one sentence. But it is easier for those that are not trained in NLP to just look at their copy and make sure that they're hitting all of those points in some portion of their their copy.

Alyson Lex
I, when I was in college, I was a creative writing minor. I was very ambitious to major in a minor. And we had to read this book, and I forget the name of it, but it was all about the five senses. And what I'm picking up from that is, if when you're future casting or giving your imagined statements are encouraging them to envision their future life, if you hit all five senses, you're likely to hit the points that you need to hit. Is that what you're saying? Exactly?

Jennifer Tamborski
Exactly, you're likely to be able to speak to your ideal clients in a way they can hear. And here's the thing, a lot of people when they write their copy, they write it from their own senses, right? Like, you know, Jenny, I can tell is auditory digital, she spends a lot of time in her head uses words like make sense. Whereas Allison uses words like visual and and imagine and envision in what she's writing. And so write also a very auditory digital. So I use words like make sense. Like when I write my own copy, I will put make sense in there all over the place. And then the people who are visual,

Alyson Lex
that's not going to connect with them,

Jennifer Tamborski
they're not going to care. That's, you know, it's it's just not. And so if you're very aware that there are people that don't learn the way you learn, you're more likely to attract a wider audience. The biggest mistake people make when they're writing their copy is writing from their own perspective, because then they're only attracting them their people, right? And if you break down those four areas into percentages of the world, right, which isn't exactly right, but it's, it's the easiest. So you're attracting 25% of the population. If you use all four of them, you get to attract 100%.

Jennie Wright
All right, I'm loving this, this is fantastic. One of the things that I wanted to share is I'd love for people to connect with you. So if you wouldn't mind sharing how we can connect with you where we can find you, so that everybody who's listening can come and learn more about you.

Jennifer Tamborski
Absolutely. So there are a couple of ways to connect with me. You can come to my website, which is virtual marketing experts calm and I'm launching, I've just launched a new podcast, you can go to your marketing matchmaker.com and it'll take you to the to the podcast page where you can listen to all of the tips and insights that I have on that.

Jennie Wright
That's fantastic. Congratulations on the new podcast that's been destined and good job. Thank you so much for being with us today. Allison and I are really impressed with what you were talking about. We can see multiple applications for what you're sharing for our listeners to be able to enhance their marketing enhanced their, you know their possibility of sales, creating those raving fans and deeper connection with their ideal clients, and the people that are in their sphere. And that's going to increase their chances of having, like you were saying before having better sales, and that you always have that money in your pocket, like you were saying before. So just want to take a second and say thank you, Jennifer, for sharing all of this brilliance with us. Really appreciate it.

Jennifer Tamborski
Thank you for having me.

Jennie Wright
Yeah, super good. And additionally, we want to make sure that if you're listening to this podcast, and you're enjoying it, that you take an opportunity to subscribe, it's very easy, just go to the platform that you're on, and hit the subscribe button, wherever it is that you're listening. You don't want to miss these episodes like the one we just had with Jennifer would happen to drop on Tuesdays. And then Allison and I get to do little episodes together on Thursdays. And we have a wonderful drop on Mondays, which is our Monday quick tips. And we alternate between Alison and I sharing or doing those sometimes who come together. They're mostly just the two like just the singular episodes, those are fun. So make sure that you do that. And if you haven't already, please consider leaving us a really honest review. We'd love to hear your feedback and know what you think of the show and what you'd like to see or hear, I should say in the future. So thanks so much for being here, everybody. We appreciate you very much. Check us out at System to thrive.com and we'll be back again soon answering another big question.